Stifled, Stiphled, Ctiphl'd

I have been struggling for some time now feeling that life did not allow for me to do the things that I would like to do.

All I ask out of life is the opportunity to be a good father and to do something useful with the remainder of my life. I have the opportunity to be a good father, but the remainder of my life seems to be stuck in the daily grind of doing something without purpose which will pay the bills. It's not that the work is bad, but it makes no use of any talent of mine and accomplishes nothing which would be considered an improvement in society.

If my goals were different - perhaps if all I wanted to do was to be a good father and to not worry about how to pay my bills - then this job would be fine. When my goals include doing work that would be of benefit to other people then this does not cut it. The thing that really galls me about being stuck in this merry-go-round of purposeless mediocrity is that I am convinced that no matter what line of productive work I chose there should be some opportunity to do it for some beneficial purpose. If I were in some line of work as generic as accounting, I could do it for a non-profit or charitable organization which focused a cause I believed in. If my talent were to be a business owner, I could use my business to help others. I could perhaps employ young people who needed work or experience.

The point is that I believe that I could work in my current profession and feel that I was doing some good - unfortunately my current job is not such a position.

That is why I feel stifled enough to need to make up new spellings of the word.